What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How old are you? 7

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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