Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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