Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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Microwave

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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sucks Syntax...

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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woman's rights

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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