Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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