Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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