A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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10inch nice

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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