a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops