Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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