How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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