Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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