A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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I C U P White stuff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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