Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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