Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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Cripples are lame.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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hashtags suck balls

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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