How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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Antijokes...

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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I was watching Fox news.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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