Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops