A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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field day?

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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rent a cops

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops