Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

save me from the nothing ive become

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if you can read this you dont' need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops