Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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