When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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( . Y . )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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