what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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So these two girls have a cup .

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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