Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

boner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops