Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

How would you rule?

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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