Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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