What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops