I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops