Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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