What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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Gustavo Andrade

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops