Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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RUN

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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