How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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