Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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the WNBA

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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