A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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