When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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The latter three thousand pages of this website.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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