What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Justin Beiber is a good singer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops