Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

What do you call a white duck? A quacker

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

Okay.

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...