A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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I C U P White stuff

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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