What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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420

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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