What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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