What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the new green? Green

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops