Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops