What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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