Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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