Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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