A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

A bar walks into a man

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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