What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you know what was a good idea? not last night

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

arena football

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops