Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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