Girls Lacrosse.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Okay.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops