knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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this website is a bad joke

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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