fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

AND

oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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