Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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WILLY

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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