Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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willam dafoe

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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