what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

Boys have swag, real men have class

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

Bob Saget

Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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