A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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