How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops