A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops