If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops